have u ever tried to look cool in front of ur friends and u
i have been laughing at this for 10 minutes straight.
both his pants and underwear came off how did he even manage
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
how does phone sex end?
so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums.